My battle with Postpartum Depression

Postpartum Depression

Hello ✨

No one ever wants to talk about depression. It’s the subject that’s never brought up in conversation. Mental health is something that is being brought to the attention of Americans every day through celebrity out reach, social media influence, and personal experience.

Admitting that you have suffered from depression can be freeing, yet the most anchoring choice you can make. Once people hear that you’re “depressed” they will automatically treat you differently, at least for a little while. So to avoid being in those awkward situations usually people do not confide in anyone about their depression.

There are many forms of depression but personally I feel like postpartum is one of the most difficult to overcome. There’s no time to focus on your own mental health because you’re caring for your newborn child. It’s hard to allow people to draw attention to yourself without feeling selfish. This is a time in your life where things are supposed to be all about your baby. The most common question is, how could you not be happy just had a baby? Or, what do you have to be sad about?

I guess postpartum took me by surprise because it came a few months after I gave birth. When I had my first child I didn’t have any problems with depression. Which seems crazy to me when comparing the two experiences because things were a lot harder for me with my first child. I was a full-time student, working part time and we were saving for a place of our own. So when I got pregnant the second time and things were a lot more established for me and Tyler, I figured it would be easy.

Well, I figured wrong. After leaving my job to become a stay at home mom adjusting to all of that was a lot. I had to adjust not only to now being a stay at home mom, but also a mother of two. It was overwhelming trying to keep up with everything that I needed to do. I didn’t want to admit that I was struggling because I am a young mom and I feel like all eyes are on me. Honestly, I feel like we’re held to a higher standard. People think just because we decided to have kids when were young then we should be prepared to handle the consequences. I don’t know maybe that’s just my thoughts on it. Oh, and of course the unrealistic standards that social media holds you to. Being a blogger I feel like people expect me to have my life together at all times because I’m sharing my life. But I feel like that’s the point, is to not be perfect and show people but that’s OK.

When I experienced postpartum depression the drastic affects were lack of motivation, mood swings, and absolute emotional instability. Some days it took all the energy I had just to make bottles, feed the baby, change diapers and attend to my very needy toddler. I found myself getting angry that I had to do daily tasks. I had no urge to do anything extra than what I absolutely had to do. I realized that it was affecting my parenting and my relationship.

I finally admitted to Tyler- and myself that it was time to go to the doctor and discuss some options. I was able to start some medicine that would help balance my mood and it’s been working great. I am happy. I love my man and my babies more than anything in this world! I finally feel okay again.

You don’t really understand the concept of what goes into depression until it affects you. It takes a lot of support and positivity to get yourself out of that place. Every day I continue to work on myself to ensure that I am the best partner and mother that I can be. If you are struggling with postpartum depression, girl take care of yourself. You will never be able to take care of your baby if you cannot admit that you need help.

It’s OK to need a break. It’s OK to get angry. It’s OK to get help. Do not let other moms shame you into thinking that you are weak for needing help. It’s weak to put other women down who are suffering.

If your mom has gone through a lot and you want to talk please get in touch with me! I’m always here to discuss how hard this Mom shit is.

With love,

AP

#momlife #motherhood #depression #mentalhealth #awareness