Young and Pregnant in a Small Town
If you have been pregnant or are pregnant in a small town, you can probably relate. It’s not easy for young mothers to be accepted into their new role by old friends, family, and everyone else.
I want to tell you a little about our situation before I get started. I want you to understand where we were at in our lives when I found out I was pregnant. *And a bonus story at the bottom of How I Proved Him Wrong.
Let me lay it out for you. I was 19 years old, so I was atleast out of high school and into my second year of community college. Tyler and I had been together for a year and were in a good place in our relationship. Although, I wasn’t your average community college student. I was a part of the Student Ambassador Scholarship program (a group of students who represent the student body at all big events- the “face” of the college). I was involved in Student Government. I was preparing to apply for another leadership program for the next year. And considering running for Student Government President.
Just like that, bam 💥 I’m pregnant. I wasn’t upset about it at all, just nervous about the judgement that was to come. Everyone at my school knew me. I was terrified that I would lose my scholarship or be excluded from public events. I was scared of what the people I went to high school with would think. (looking back, such a waste of time.) Living in not even just a small town, but a small county- the word travels fast. It almost felt like I was letting down these strangers- strangers that expected so much from me. They knew my potential yet now, saw it as tainted now due to the pregnancy.
WOW. What kinda shit is that. That’s the kinda shit you get when you live in a small town. You see, I was one of the first to have a baby in the new aged baby boom happing in my area. It wasn’t “cute or cool” to be pregnant. It was something people tried to avoid. Now, it’s so normalized to be unmarried and pregnant that they try for it. (Which is totally cool, just wasn’t like that for me.)
Adults who know now think because they know you or have had children that you need advice. Or some type of life lesson story. It’s a hard transition when your young to become a parent. You learn how to be selfless, nurturing, and compassionate at a young age and IT SHOWS 🙂 Had to add that in bc I can’t with people saying that. LOL.
Endless friend/follow request. Girls that didn’t even like me- Constantly wondering what’s going on behind closed doors. People desperate to see a picture of you pregnant. Just to say, “well where is the dad? Well, why are you at a bar, are you drinking while pregnant?? She got hugeeee!!”
Wait, what am I saying- no one actually says these things to YOU- they just talk making themselves. From the moment you announce your pregnant it’s like it gives the world some power to hold you to impossible standards. All eyes are on you. People checking your profile like their the damn baby police or something.
Being young and pregnant in a small town is pressure. Pressure to be prefect or else they were all right- you couldn’t handle it. You were too young to have kids. They told you so.
Screw that shit. Be you. Be great. Be young. Have as many babies as you want- they don’t have to raise em 🙂
#momlife #motherhood #pregnancy #postpardum #kids
Added story: How I Proved Him Wrong
Like I said, I was pretty involved at my community college. I had an advisor who had helped me since I applied to the college. He helped me in every way possible- I looked up to him SO much.
When I told him I was pregnant, I was beyond shocked at his response. Now, I am a Christian, but this man begins to try and preach to me. Tell me that Tyler and I should live apart regardless of our baby, asking me if I really read the Bible, and the kicker- told me I probably shouldn’t apply for his leadership program in the fall because I couldn’t handle it.
Well man did I prove him wrong. Not only did I not do his stupid program- I became an Student Government Association Officer. Started a new program of study- and completed the semester while having a newborn ON FALL BREAK (couldn’t have planned it better.) I went on to get an amazing internship without his help and landed the job within 2 months!! I was so proud to say guess what, “I told YOU so!!”